You know, it’s intimidating to share one’s faith, but when I have the gift of eternal life, how can I keep it to myself? I want to tell you that our life, and mine, makes a difference in the lives of others.
I am always surprised when I hear this, because I used to get up, travel 45 miles, one way, to go to work, come home, fix dinner, and go to bed, so tired.
I thank God daily for waking up, for giving me my husband, Jim, my children, my friends. I’m retired, but I work on my computer every day, as I am a genealogist working on my family’s history.
I have a list of prayer requests, and little prayers taped to my monitor, laying on the desk, all around me, so that no matter where I look, I see them, and can breathe a little prayer for you. I ask God for help for myself, too. If Jim and I have had an argument, or I’m upset with something or someone, one of the prayers I ask for myself, almost daily, is this, “Lord, is it me? Change my heart, help me to understand, and to compromise."
As I’ve been reflecting on my life to speak at this retreat, I realize that many of my problems were really nothing more than inconveniences. Robert Fulgrum, in his book “All I Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten,” says we need to put our problems in perspective.
“A lump in my oatmeal and a lump in my throat, and a lump in my breast, just aren’t the same!” Sometimes life is just LUMPY! Upheavals teach us humility and openness to God’s working.
I’ve gone to church all my life. My parents took us (my sister, Norma, and me) to a Congregational Church in Mitchell, South Dakota, when we were little girls. I still have my worn out King James Bible given to me for memorizing all my Bible verses when I was ten years old. Don’t ask me to quote them today, tho.
We moved from Mitchell, to my mother’s hometown of Valton, Wisconsin, when I started 6th grade. My aunt and uncle took us kids to the Wesleyan Sunday school and church, which has been my family’s home church for over 150 years. My mother's family and other relatives are all buried in the little cemetery, up the hill behind the church. Whenever we go back to Wisconsin, we go visit this quiet, peaceful sweet cemetery.
My first boy friend was Jack Holder, son of Carl Holder, the pastor of that little church. Oh, was he ever cute! I was in 7th grade, and he was in 8th grade. We had lots of youth activities, and my first kiss was from Jack, when we played “spin the bottle.” It was probably just a peck on the cheek, but so thrilling to me (and very tame compared to our kids today).
A funny thing Norma and I learned there was to sing “Brighten the Corner Where You Are” in Pig Latin. We still laugh about that! She’s always been very musical, playing the accordion (now plays a keyboard), and we sang many times in church and at school functions, even in high school. The Wallendal sisters – the “American Idol” of those days. Oh, how funny! I have so many happy memories of those days.
The Wesleyan church had altar calls at the end of the sermons, and would play what were called Invitation songs, such as “Almost Persuaded,” “I Surrender All,” “Just As I Am,” and “Softly and Tenderly.” I’m sure some of you remember those old songs along with me. They were sung to tug at the hearts of and to persuade people to come up to the front of the church, kneel at the altar (which is why they were called altar calls), and be saved, to give their life to Jesus Christ. Sometimes they would feel the Spirit moving, and play and sing for hours, not dismissing church until 1, 2, or 3 o’clock. They just knew there was someone out there who wanted/needed to be saved. I remember them trying to ‘Save” me several times, and I would say to them, “I don’t have to go up to the altar. I can be saved right here in my seat.” I wasn’t going to make a fool of myself, walking up there in front of everyone. I really believe, however, it was during those years, attending that little church, that I became a Christian, accepting Jesus into my heart. I never grew or reflected Jesus, though, until I had a deeper re-commitment as an adult.
The Korean War was being fought at that time, and my dad went to work for an ammunition plant, Badger Ammunition Plant, making powder for the bombs and guns. We moved about 45 miles away from the little town of Valton, and that Wesleyan church. I was starting high school and began attending a non-denominational church, where I taught Sunday school to the little kids.
Jim and I started dating the summer between our junior and senior years in high school. We were married in 1958 in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, both of us only 18 years old. Jim was in the Air Force in Spokane, Washington and although I still lived in Wisconsin, my parents had moved to Louisiana, so we were married there. We celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary in 2008.
We spent the whole time he was in the Air Force in Spokane, Washington and had three children right away – Jolene, Jay, and Jimmy, each born 15 months apart. I had very bad postpartum depression after our youngest, Jimmy, was born. I was 21 years old, with three little babies – newborn, 15 months, and 30 months. Just picture yourself in this situation. My doctor was going to give me shock treatments because he thought I might harm the baby. I can remember telling him I didn’t even think of that, but did consider committing suicide myself. Jim and I got counseling together; I took medicine, and got over it in about six months. It was just too many kids, too close together, all of us living in a one-bedroom apartment, and then getting out of the Air Force in 1960, when Jimmy was three months old. We moved back to Wisconsin to farm.
It was all too much stress and I didn’t handle it well. Reflecting back, though, I know God was taking care of us and had big plans for us. We moved back to Wisconsin to farm with Jim’s parents, living on a separate farm about ½ mile away from them and ten miles from town. We bought groceries and anything else we needed on Friday night, the onetime every week that we went to town. We didn’t just run to the market every time we needed something. Jim helped his Dad, raising hogs and cattle, planting and harvesting crops, hauling manure, everything a farmer does. I had a huge garden, about ¼ acre (raised and canned a lot of our food), washed clothes for three little babies, kept house, etc. We even hunted deer, pheasant, raccoons, and other animals. I learned to butcher and freeze our own meat.
The winters there were horrible. At least four months of freezing weather and snow. The inside of the walls of our then 100 year old, two-story log house, would get frost on them. I stuffed rags all along the baseboards, and shut off the rooms we did not need to use. We had a wood-burning stove in the living room, which we set up in October, and took down again the next May. No furnace! There’s a joke in Wisconsin that one puts up the stove on Labor Day and takes it down again on Memorial Day – only three months of the year are warm, and they are hot and humid!
We had to cut down our own trees out of the woods, saw them into about two foot long logs, and haul them down to the house in a wagon. The men did this, but I helped them throw the logs on the wagon. Then, after it’s at the house, I still had to chop up the logs into smaller pieces, so they would fit into the stove. Even if I hadn’t had babies with whom to get up in the night, I had to get up about 2:00 a.m. to put wood in the stove to keep the fire going. That’s called banking the fire. If the coals from the fire are protected well enough, there usually will be enough heat in them to easily start a fresh fire in the morning. If not, we would have felt like we were freezing inside the house. Sometimes it got down to 40 degrees inside.
We only had hot water in our bathroom in that house. I had another wood stove in the kitchen, on which I heated water. I washed clothes on the enclosed back porch with a wringer washer and washtubs in which I rinsed them. All the clothes, (diapers, Jim’s overalls, everything) were washed in one tub of water, then rinsed in the two tubs. First one tub, then the other tub. In the winter, I couldn’t hang clothes outside (we didn’t have a dryer then), as they would just freeze. I had lines hung up all over the upstairs (which was what we closed off, as it was still the original logs, no dry wall on the walls up there. After a couple of days, they would be dry.
The diapers I needed to use right away were hung on a line I had hooked up behind the kitchen wood stove. We didn’t have disposable diapers then, either. One day I almost burned the house down. I put too much wood in the stove, and it got so hot the chimney turned red, singeing one of the diapers. It was a miserable tome for both Jim and me! I was about to go into another depression. Once again, in reflection, I know these things and our way of life were all part of God’s plan for me.
We sent our children to Sunday school the two years we lived in Wisconsin, but didn’t attend with them. We only lived close to family during the two years we were farming, otherwise, we’ve always lived very far away from our parents (always 2000 miles or more), which makes it difficult to run home to mommy.
In 1963 we moved to California, no jobs, three little kids, now two, three, and four years old. We owned our car, hauling a little trailer with the few belongings we had, and no furniture, just $300.00 in cash. Our families and friends thought we were absolutely crazy to take off like this, with three little kids. In hindsight, I know we were foolish, but it did work out. God is still taking care of us!
We had friends, from our Air Force days, living in Rosemead, who had been telling us how easily it was to get good paying jobs, and how Great the Weather was compared to the minus 30 degrees the whole month of January, that last year, 1963, that we lived in Wisconsin.
We lived with these friends for three weeks, in their little trailer home, and then we rented a furnished house in Rosemead. We both got good jobs, Jim with General Telephone, I with a pest control company, and our life began to be much better and easier. We had live in baby sitters those first few years, until I had such a difficult time getting someone we could depend on. I quit work, got my child care license, and became a stay at home mother, taking good care of other working mothers’ children, along with our own.
Once again, we sent the kids to Sunday school with a neighbor, who kept inviting me to come along, which I finally did one Sunday. It was the Rosemead Wesleyan (originally Pilgrim Holiness) church and we went there for 13 years.
1972 was quite traumatic for me. I was 32 when my mother died of breast cancer at the age of 50. A month later, to the day, my Grandma died. I remember sitting on the grass in the front yard, pulling weeks around a tree, crying and asking God, WHY? How can I bear this – my mother, now my grandma? I was lonely without my mother – who could I confide in now?
It was at this time in my life that I recommitted my life to Jesus, was baptized, and started serving the Lord. I helped the pastor by typing his sermons, helped organize a weekly Saturday evening get together where we had speakers, and groups came to sing. We called it “Bethel Inn.” I became very involved in church, and have been thankful all my married years, that Jim is so gracious about my serving. He hardly ever complains, unless I was gone from home too many days or nights in a row.
All through the 1960s and early 1970s I worked – I took in ironing, baby-sat, cleaned a dentist’s office, and worked at the kid’s school as a noon duty aide. In 1974 Jim and I bought our business, Jessie’s Saddlery. I had our pastor dedicate it to the Lord for His good, and even hosted a Bible study in the back of the store for a year.
Again, I am very thankful I know the Lord, as he sustained me through all the tough times of starting a new business, my working there for three years running it and taking in work during the day. When Jim got home from the phone company at night, we had dinner, then he worked in the store until about 10:00 p.m., repairing or making items from the orders I had taken during the day. We both worked Long, Hard hours.
Our children were now teenagers, 13, 14, 15, and those of you with teens know how tough those years can be. Why does God give us teen-agers? Teen-agers put the TEST in Testimony. I think my relationship with my daughter was very difficult – more so than that with my sons, but it has also had a big turnaround. We are friends now. I know God was there for me through everything I experienced.
Pot smoking was rampant – those were the hippie days of the late 1960s, 1970s time frame. We had lots to worry about, just as parents today do. Once again, I needed counseling. I believe counseling is important, as we get some actual, verbal feedback. We must also talk to God, which is to say – pray, ask Him for strength, and help, to get us through things.
I must add that those were good years for me, too. I went to college, I got a wonderful job with Southern California Edison, for whom I worked 17 years, and from which I was able to retire at age 55, with excellent benefits. I belonged to a Bible study there, the Edison Roundtable for business women, and was involved in a lot of church activities, too.
I want to close with something else Robert Fulgrum wrote about values, which is a good way for all of us to live our lives.
“Share everything
Play Fair.
Don’t hit people
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don’t take things that aren’t yours.
Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life – learn some and think some and draw and paint some and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon. (I like that one!)
When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together. (Hold hands and stick together as Ladies of Grace!)
Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup. The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we all like that.
And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first words you learned – the biggest word of all – LOOK.”
How wonderful it would be if life was that simple, hearts were that true, and goals were that noble. God sends us challenges with children, finances, spouses, parents, for a reason – to teach us, stretch us, or remind us who is really in charge around here. Now that I am older, other challenges are coming into my life – the loss of friends and family to death, illnesses, the care of parents but this I know – He is still in charge, just as He always was when I was younger. Reflecting on my life as a Christian, I can truly say that the Lord has done great and mighty things I know were not possible naturally, but only through Him!
Psalm 37:25 reads “I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.” Please ladies, remember that we are never abandoned. In the end He is all we have – He is right there with us. To quote Marilyn Meberg, a speaker at the Women of Faith conferences, “We, as believers in Christ, who conquered death, have the last laugh. As we walk through this life, we encounter pain, we encounter heartache, and we encounter sorrow, but at the end of it all we encounter God! The last laugh is ours!”
May the Lord surround you with the fragrant embrace of Jesus this weekend. Let the reflection of God show through you.
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